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Tuesday, April 22, 2008


beginning to find life meaningless & searching desperately for wad i really want. Have not been having enuff sleep, Got emo cos of unnecessary idol stuffs..

*FUCK!* Sorry But life really sucks to da core for now. No like it many many!

Hate my Fucking family,I know i'm zek ark but it really hurts to listen to wad my mother wanna say. She mumbles like a baby(ever since she recovered from stroke), so whenever she made the noise trying to express wad she wanna say, i feel pekcek & wanna shout at her! & sometimes i do get vulgar with her cos she insist on getting stuff tat is not within my capability to be done. wad the fuck. i can't stand her. I really can't. I know i'm a bad gal. Sometimes i wished she could just pass away tat day when she got a sudden attack of stroke so lesser the burden, but can't la cos yea i dunno how to say la.Haiz. Dunno wad she wants la. I have a so called 'father' at home,her so called 'boyfriend' whom lived with us for 10 over years already but he doesn't contributes anything?!? all he does is to complain to me about all the bills to settle & asked me how to settle when our relatives get in touch with him! WHatTHeFUck. You lived in my house too yet you dun even wanna contribute?!? Took few thousand dollars from my mother yet not a single cent i got back from you?!? Aren't you even ashame to borrow money from our maid? Ohmygosh. Bu yao lian! FUCK OFF!Beware that the maid can complain to MOM & the one tat will kenna detained will be my grandmother lo, not yours okay. Fuck. Better pay the maid back her money! Bastard! Still remember i won some money back then? the 3000 plus? he asked before i got the money okay? For the obvious i dun give a damn & just said not enuff for own usage. fuck! then it doesn't end, he questioned me, so much money not enuff? Lend him a few hundred lehz, pay his car instalments etc.. RUBBISH! Fuck you!My sister is another one. She can throw her temper as & when she feels like it. Her attitude simply sucks.No wonder sometimes nobody likes her. She tried moving out of our hse but kenna chase back cos nobody wants to put her in knowing how her temper is like. I can tell you la no matter where she goes, she'll have difficulty connecting with ppl. COS of her fuck up attitude. Really. Unless she change which my relatives & her loved ones all think it is not possible. BUT i still wanna say when she's good she behaves, she's really a considerate gal, will show her concern & asked if i need anything from anywhere. Again, that only happens once in a blue moon. So yea. I hate my family. My maid is worst, doesn't behave herself, dunno if got involved with a man, cos she seemed to wear more revealing clothes, always having new jewellery around her etc. I dun give a damn anyway. ARGH! Crazy family!

Btw, my family background is really complicated. My parents got divorced when i was 2 yrs old. I saw with my own eyes how my mum got hit with a chair till she bleeds from her nose. & btw, they are not my real parents too. I dun have any blood relations with them. My sister then is their blood daughter. I was told i was brought back with a sum of money given to tat 'woman' whom sold me away. & she is my mother's cousin or simply someone i knew always around me all these while. I hate her btw.Yea, so they brought me back, bring me up lo. I should feel fortunate, cos my daddy loves me much more than her blood daughter. Wadever i want, i'd always get. Wadever she got, i got doubled. I know i'm really fortunate. My daddy doesn't call my sista, but opposite way, he called me once in a while to say he miss me & wants a meet up soon. :) Thankful for tat. Perhaps he dotes on me in a wrong way le, tat now i dunno how to handle my own money now cos i already gotten use to spending all the money he pass me. & the way he pass money to me is like 200 the least & 500 the most. For the records, i remembered there was once i got a thousand dollar from him lo. BUt all i ever knew was Spend Spend & SPend. So in less than 2 mths the thousand dollars was gone.Haiz.So now he got smarter, he knew i spend money like water flowing, so only 100 dollars will be given once in a while if i ever look for him. aHA. Anyway, i'm just thankful for him la, cos when i really have not a single cent left, i know i have somebody to lean onto. Tats my daddy la. I doubt he will care about my sista lo. Truth to be said, they are like enermies. They will verbally fight with each other. Then all the 'cheebyes,kanninabu...' all come out liao. Sorry but today i sound really vulgar. But yea. i need to vent out!yea. tats something about my family. I have no intention to find out who the hell my real mother is, & which bastard got her pregnant yyah.. argh! i myself nv imagine my family background to be this complicated..


i better dun write this much.. it's getting long!

chao-chee------bye!

LOL..kidding.

XOXO!


Kaileng wrote
4/22/2008 02:30:00 PM









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