Seemed like i gonna miss sweetest at Padang already..
Dont hav the mood to get down, I'd be heartless if i still go for idols over family.

Haiz.. I really hate wad i'm experiencing now..
It does not seemed like a family anymore..

Majority of the time, i'm almost hanging out till late nite then back home,
Call me avoiding the whole lot of them, cos i'm..

I dunno la, somehow i felt i lost my senses.
I dun like my mum, i only know how to use her money.

I dun like my sister cos she is always experiencing mood swings.
I seldom contact my dad.

& really dun like tat bastard living tgt with us.
I simply dun understand, why he's living in da same roof, working yet nv share a single cent for utilities etc. All he knows is to ask me to pay for his vehicle instalments. F*ck.

I dun feel part of them anymore. Sometimes i tout of ending my life but hav no guts.I'm afraid of death.Nah no worries, i still value life no matter how difficult things are.

Just yesterday, i received a call from my relative saying my sista attempted suicide in da hospital then got transferred to IMH. Haiz. I didnt expect her to do this cos she shld be da more sensible one knows how think for herself & stuff like tat except for her fucked up attitude. So ya, i got worried & eventually broke down. Funny huh, i so dislike her yet i feel for her. She's overall my sista ma, so yea.Perhaps lack of communication caused her to do tat. She got no one to talk to..My mom suffers from stroke, cant speak, my dad dislike her & needless to say I'm always away from home & she hate tat fucking bastard.So who could she talk to at home? Poor gal.

I nearly forgotten i have got a SISTER. Haiz. Totally failed as an elder sibling.I went to read her blog just today to check wads happening & i'm totally shocked by the fact tat she got herself indulged in alcohols & tobaccos. Since when she drink & smoke? I dunno.Omg. I think things are getting serious. She has bad health since young & now she drinks & smokes? I dunno la, lost for words. Totally shocked. Just praying she would get back to senses & brace herself up. Tats nth more valued than your own life. Anything can be sorted out, death wont solve everything. Haiz.

Praying hard she can be discharge today.My mom doesnt know she got admitted to IMH. Cant imagine if she knows, wad if her condition got worse? argh! Family issues killing me. I need guidance & i need directions, strength & support.

As much said, I admit defeat to life.

Haiz... Uncertain of wad the future holds for me, i know i gotta stay strong.

Jiayou kaileng!